Q: I’ve been going to Mass recently and hope to become Catholic one day. My boyfriend grew up Catholic but stopped going after middle school. He came with me to Mass, and during the Universal Prayer the priest prayed for those killed and wounded in Ukraine, Gaza and Africa, and for an end to war and senseless violence. Afterward, I asked my boyfriend how he liked it. He told me that in good conscience he couldn’t attend church services because of his job. He’s a cybersecurity engineer at a defense contractor, and he feels that by working there he is indirectly contributing to war. Because of that, he thinks he can’t be part of a religion until after he retires. That explanation makes some sense to me, but I’m also struggling with it. Surely God understands that people need jobs to provide for themselves and their families. But at the same time, I’m not sure if my boyfriend is right. Could his work really prevent him from becoming Catholic? — B.
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
It’s great to hear of your interest in becoming Catholic.
The Church has a lot of spiritual treasures, notably the sacraments, to help you reach heaven. It also has teachings that can help us navigate difficult ethical questions.
The situation you describe is interesting.
First, since your boyfriend was raised Catholic (and presumably was baptized Catholic) he is already Catholic and is obliged to attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation. This is a precept of the Church.
The deeper question is whether his work can be reconciled with the Catholic faith.
The Church teaches that military activities can be justified for defensive purposes. A few numbers from the Catechism are worth quoting here:
2310 Public authorities […] have the right and duty to impose on citizens the obligations necessary for national defense. Those who are sworn to serve their country in the armed forces are servants of the security and freedom of nations. If they carry out their duty honorably, they truly contribute to the common good of the nation and the maintenance of peace.
2321 The prohibition of murder does not abrogate the right to render an unjust aggressor unable to inflict harm. Legitimate defense is a grave duty for whoever is responsible for the lives of others or the common good. [end quoted material]
The idea here is that Catholics can be involved in military-related industries if the work contributes to the maintenance of peace in the wide sense.
This, of course, is a complex issue, given the nature of modern warfare and the possibility for catastrophic destruction.
It might be helpful for your friend to read up on Catholic teaching and to speak with his pastor.
A few resources would be posts by the National Catholic Register and the U.S. bishops’ conference.
It would be good to speak in-depth with your friend about his work and how it could impact your lives together.
If you plan to join the Church, you certainly want to pass on the Catholic faith to your children. It will be important for their dad to practice the faith. Studies show that kids whose dads practice the faith are more likely to practice it themselves as they grow older.
In the meantime, you might want to intensify your prayers for your friend.
Count on my prayers.