Q: How can I make my Catholic husband understand this his viewing of inappropriate material online is serious and can be sinful? I found out by accident when he asked me to look at something on his phone, and this pornographic video reel popped up. He downplays the situation and does not understand it is also affecting my self-esteem. Please help. — V.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your husband.

It says something about the sorry state of today’s culture that your husband doesn’t even know that this material is gravely sinful.

One reason it’s sinful is because it uses other people for selfish pleasure. He could be committing adultery of the heart, which Jesus warned about (Matthew 5:28).

It might help if your husband and you read some material and then had a heart-to-heart talk.

A few suggestions:

▪ Bishop Thomas Olmsted’s exhortation “Into the Breach.”

▪ Bishop Paul Loverde’s essay “Let the Battle for Purity Begin: Love vs. Pornography.”

▪ This short Catholic Answers post.

In the meantime, intensify your prayers for your husband. And think of offering up sacrifices for him, such as moderate fasting. Count on my prayers.