Q: Why can’t we go to confession by phone? I respect the physicality of the sacraments, but people are behind a screen anyway, so I don’t get why it has to be in person. It’s hard for some of us to get there in person, so then we’re just cut off from God’s forgiveness and mercy, which doesn’t seem fair. I’m the only Catholic in my family, and it would be really awkward and may cause a lot of conflict for me to go in person. I feel like a freak just asking to go to church every Sunday, and I’m not brave enough to be even more different. — K.

Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:

As you mention, there is a physical dimension to the sacraments. They are outward signs instituted by Christ to give grace. Something external indicates that something spiritual is going on.

This is one reason the Son of God took on a human nature; he walked among us and often relied on touches and words to heal and instruct people. This is fitting since we learn through our senses.

There is something crucial in the person-to-person contact that comes within the sacraments. They can reassure us of God’s personal care for each of us.

This is especially true in the sacrament of reconciliation, where a priest can impart very specific counseling.

Going to confession in person also helps guard the element of confidentiality. Phones can be tapped, and online communications can be hacked. There is a lot of wisdom behind in-person confession.

(For related reading, see this Canon Law Made Easy post.)

That said, the deeper problem seems to be your struggle with your family.

One way you can improve your chances of seeing them convert is by living your faith fully.

Your regular attendance at Mass and frequent use of confession might puzzle them, but it gives them an example they can’t ignore. That can sow the seeds for their conversion someday.

For your own good, try to cultivate a network of solid Catholic friends. They might give you the moral and emotional support you need to deal with a skeptical family.

Friends might also help you to get to confession often.

Count on my prayers.