Q: I was reading the Summa Theologica entry on fraternal correction and I’m a bit confused. If we struggle with any sin whatsoever, does that make us ineligible to fraternally correct someone? I always thought that if we actively struggled with a certain sin, we were in no position to correct someone for that same sin, but the entry makes it seem like anyone who’s a sinner whatsoever is in no place to correct. But who can then? Does it have to do with whether you’re in a state of grace? For example, I found out that my younger brother has cheated on his fiancée, and he and his mistress wanted to stay at my house. I sat him down and told him that that was unacceptable for him to bring her into my home, and that he needed to come clean to his fiancée. But I will readily admit that I have my own sins I’m guilty of, such as struggling with alcohol overuse and being lazy at work. Does this mean that I sinned in having tried to correct my brother? — Michael
Answered by Fr. Edward McIlmail, LC:
Fraternal correction can be an important part of Christian life.
The Catechism in No. 1435 says:
“Conversion is accomplished in daily life by gestures of reconciliation, concern for the poor, the exercise and defense of justice and right, by the admission of faults to one’s brethren, fraternal correction, revision of life, examination of conscience, spiritual direction, acceptance of suffering, endurance of persecution for the sake of righteousness. Taking up one’s cross each day and following Jesus is the surest way of penance.”
Notice that “admission of faults to one’s brethren” comes right before mention of fraternal correction.
The key here is balance. We need to be willing to admit our mistakes. And we don’t need to be perfect in order to correct one another.
If perfection were required, parents could never discipline their children, nor could spouses ever correct each other. Nor for that matter could any priest or bishop correct his flock.
We are all a work in progress, and some of that progress will depend on others’ calling us out at times.
We need to discern when and how to offer fraternal correction. We need to be humble and recognize our own faults; this can help us bring up an issue with someone charitably and prudently.
In the case of your brother, it was good that you challenged him for his infidelity. If he is cheating now, that might be a warning sign that he is not ready for marriage. That is a bigger issue that needs attention.